Counseling Blog | The Dunham School | Private PreK-12 | Baton Rouge, LA

Counseling Blog

October 2025

helping children build self-awareness for strong friendships 

As school counselors, one of the most common challenges we see across all ages—from our littlest preschoolers to our graduating seniors—is the struggle to make and keep friends. In today’s world of constant technology and social media, face-to-face connections don’t always come naturally. Many children need guidance in learning how to read their own emotions, understand the emotions of others, and practice the skills that lead to meaningful friendships.

At the heart of all of this is self-awareness. When children are aware of how they are feeling, what they are communicating through their actions, and how those actions affect others, they are better equipped to engage socially in healthy ways.

Why Self-Awareness Matters

Self-awareness is the foundation of emotional intelligence. It helps children:

• Recognize their feelings (am I nervous, excited, left out, or happy?).
• Notice how their body language and words impact others.
• Take responsibility for their actions.

Without this awareness, it’s easy for children to either withdraw out of fear or to push others away without even realizing it. But when they begin to grow in self-awareness, they can approach friendships with empathy, humility, and understanding.

The Bible reminds us that our relationships matter deeply: “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility, value others above yourselves.” (Philippians 2:3). Teaching children to notice their own actions helps them put others first and live out this verse in everyday friendships.

The Importance of Face-to-Face Connections

Screens are a huge part of our culture, but friendships can’t be built on likes, comments, or texts alone. God designed us for real-life community. Proverbs 27:17 says, “As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.” Sharpening happens in conversation, laughter, eye contact, shared play, and even in disagreements that are worked through.

Encouraging children to spend less time on screens and more time in face-to-face settings—whether through family dinners, church groups, sports, or simple playdates—allows them to practice the skills of listening, sharing, and showing care in ways technology just can’t replace.

How Parents Can Help

Here are a few simple ways parents can nurture self-awareness and social engagement in their children:

• Model Self-Awareness
  Share with your child when you’re feeling tired, overwhelmed, or joyful, and explain how you manage those feelings. This shows them that emotions are normal and gives them language to describe their own.
• Role-Play Friend Scenarios
  Practice greeting others, asking questions, taking turns, and even handling rejection in safe, playful settings at home.
• Encourage Reflection
  After playdates, games, or school days, ask questions like: “How did you feel when…?” or “How do you think your friend felt when…?” This builds the habit of thinking about both self and others. Remember to keep the questions open-ended, as it allows your child to strengthen their emotional intelligence.
• Prioritize Face-to-Face Time
  Limit technology use during key times of the day and instead invite opportunities for real conversation and connection.
• Point Back to God’s Design
  Remind your child that God made us for relationships—with Him and with others. Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 says, “Two are better than one… if either of them falls down, one can help the other up.” Friendships are part of God’s good plan, and self-awareness helps children step into those relationships well.